I am choosing to enjoy my life and I’m SURROUNDED by liars. Therefore, to restore YOUR sanity or maintain it you must remember this one thing arguing with them will only further YOUR pain not theirs.įree yourself to live the best life you can live regardless of what the liar may say, or do. If that’s what you’ve come to believe then arguing with a liar NO MATTER what their reasoning may be is futile. It doesn’t matter WHY it only matters that they did it. Simon’s work but also others on the subject of Narc’s, lying and character disturbance I completely agree on this one main truth. After reading and re-reading not only Dr. All of a sudden this family member turned on all of us. The better question to ask yourself might just be….why argue with the liar? I was doing that with someone I love for the past 6-7 yrs. Podcasts of all but the new pilot Character Matters programs can be found on the UCY.TV YouTubechannel. If the book has changed yours, please consider recommending it to others. Word of mouth is helping The Judas Syndrome change lives. And, also, part two.Ĭharacter Disturbance will soon be released on audiobook. You can now listen to part one of a new pilot episode of the new Character Matters Program. Egotists: Above the Need for a Governing Higher Power.Narcissists Can’t Recognize a Higher Power.But as you may already know, narcissists neither recognize nor revere any higher power. Truth is, perhaps, the most precious “higher power” that can govern our lives. Sanity will be restored to our culture when reverence for the truth returns. As I point out in How Did We End Up Here?, breaches of trust have destroyed more relationships than I care to count. Where there’s no trust, there can’t be intimacy. The foundation of any healthy, intimate relationship is trust. Lying, especially pathological lying, takes its deepest toll on relationships. And that means constantly, fudging, distorting, twisting, and “spinning.” In such a culture, there’s simply no room for the truth. The goal is now winning, advancing an agenda, swaying opinions, securing power, etc., by any means necessary. The goal is no longer discovering and living by the truth. Sadly, deception has even infiltrated science, once the bastion of relentless, unbiased truth pursuit. There’s deception in our advertising, our teaching, our politics, even our news. And many have truly been at war with the truth.ĭisregard for the truth has infected almost every aspect of culture. For years, we’ve been in an age of deceit. As I mention in In Sheep’s Clothing, it’s also the main way folks resist acceding to moral principles. And Lying is the penultimate manipulation tactic. Truth has no value when life is all about getting what you want or manipulating people’s impressions. In our narcissistic culture, the truth, and regard for it has taken a real beating. Death of the Truth and Erosion of Trust in our Narcissistic Age However, quite often the wall of lies doesn’t tumble until a lot of damage has already occurred. Sometimes, the evidence simply piles up against them. They don’t concede the truth until their wall of lies is forced to come crashing down. But pathological liars persist to the very end. That automatically puts you in a one-down position. You cant tell how they really feel, or what they really want. You don’t know what might really be up to. And when you can’t pin them down, you can’t know what’s really going on. Whenever they engage, they want the advantage. And they don’t want a level playing field. Such folks view life as a game or contest. As I assert in Character Disturbance, it’s always about position, position, position for some disturbed characters. They lie to keep a position of advantage. Pathological liars have a singular purpose. But once you understand why they do what they do you can restore your sanity. They may drive you crazy with their antics. There’s actually method to their apparent madness. And it’s especially hard to understand why someone would lie when the truth might well serve them better. It’s hard to understand why someone would lie when the truth would suffice. Pathological lying seems to make no sense. We’ve often called such liars “pathological” liars. And they lie even when the truth would appear to serve better. And they seem to lie no apparent rational reason. Moreover, some disturbed characters among lie habitually. And it can cause much unnecessary pain and suffering. (That’s the character of “little white lies”.) But lying can be really problematic at times. Sometimes our lies are relatively benign and inconsequential. Many would argue that lying is simply part of being human. Pathological lying is a particular kind of lying.
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